Abah, 

I miss you. Do wait for me. I can't wait to see you. May Allah grant my prayer. Aamiin.

I know dreams are BS but I'm still hoping you would come in my dreams. All of us, together. Doing our usual weekend activity, sightseeing or going to the beach. Now I know why I love beaches & sightseeing. It's because of you.

Abah,

I'm sorry I didn't visit you during raya this year. But you're always in my thoughts & prayers. I promise to visit you when I'm back in Kuantan. I will spend some time talking to you. Please be patience.

Abah,

I went to your kampung when I was on my way back to Kuantan during Ramadhan. I stopped the car a few meters from your mom's house. Gosh. I felt like you were sitting next to me. I felt like I'm flying back into times when we used to spend our raya there. I felt weird cus after 14 years, I'm at your kampung. Your birth place. 

Abah,

I have some good news. You already have 2 grandchildren. A boy named Muhammad Naim Aziz & a girl named Nur Fatimah Syuhada. Both of them are Khairul's. They are sooooo adorable. Naim is 3 years old now and getting smarter & more handsome each day. Fatimah (i know, that's fav name) just learned to walk. They both really reminds me of Khairul & I. Love to fight. Mak has slowly introduced you to them. I guess Mak is missing you too. Oh, and another news is I'm engaged! I'm getting married in 8 months time :)  How I wish you're here, and become the tok kadi. 

Abah, 

15 years have passed since your death but guess what. Talking about you, your death and our memories still bring tears to my eyes. Time does heal everything but when it comes to you, it doesn't heal. And I think it won't. 

Abah,

I wish I have your strong spirit and your personality. The only thing that I inherited from you is your body. Kurus kering ^_^

Gosh, it's late. I have to go. Time to sleep. I won't forget my promise to visit you...and please, come and visit me too.

ILOVEUALWAYS

Al-fatihah...

I was on the way to commuter station, in a cab, when I suddenly remember my dreams the night before. I saw you in my dream. You were on the soccer field, laughing with your friends. You must be having a great time, I think. 

Why were you in my dream? After a long long time. I do remember you sometimes. I always think we were meant to be together. Not 'that' together. Together in a sense that we will be good friends till we get old. Together in a sense that we know each other's partner. Together in a sense that our kids will be good friends too. That's what I always feel. Until I received the news of your death.

Dear friend, dreams mean nothing. But I take it positively, maybe it's telling me that I too will die one day and I should get myself fully prepared for it. Al-Fatihah to you. Till we meet again...

Hey Blog,

Long time no see kan :) 

I miss u. Lots. True story. I always have these words, sentences on my mind which I plan to scribble on you but when I open you, all those words are gone. Vanish. Just like that. I wonder why. I guess opening up to you is getting difficult as time goes by. I'm going back to the plain ol' me, keeping things just to myself. Which is NOT GOOD. 

I wanna share with you a few things. Firstly, I'm so glad my mom raised me up to be independent. Throughout my life I was taught not to depend to others unless I really really really have to. You see, when I first started working in Proton, I have no money, no transport, no friends, no house. With the help of an old friend via sms, I found a place where I could...well, maybe not comfortable to live, not a decent house either, but it's just nice for me. I made new friends. They are my housemates. They might not be highly educated, but they are what I call, decent friends. Who were always warm to me, cooked the nicest food I've ever tasted, took care of the house, etc. 

It was July 1st 2010. My first day at Proton. I had no transport. But that is not an excuse for me to not to go to work. I took the bus. Every single day. Before 6.45am, I'll be waiting at the bus stop. I love going to work by bus. I actually miss that. But I hate the part of crossing the roads. They are too jam packed with cars, lorries, buses and worst of all, motorcycles. It usually took me 5 to 10 minutes to cross the roads. Have to be at perfect timing cus you see, it's a 3-lane roads. Both ways. Going back after work was the hardest part. The bus that I took were from KL. And it has many stops. Add the traffic jams, sometimes I have to wait for an hour for it to arrive at Proton. On a very very  bad day which is raining day, I waited up to 2 hours. Amazingly, I managed to live this life for a year! And now, each time I see people waiting at the bus stop, it brings back the memories. I regard them as part of my bitter sweet life. I do have tears each time I go back in time, remembering all this hard part. I complaint every now and then but I always say to myself, whatever happens now are actually a part of god's preparation for me to face the future. 

Oh...It's almost 4pm. I plan to go out. By bus :) Need to get ready now or else it'll be too late.

I'll see you when I see you!! daa...