-K.E.M.B.A.N.G-

Kembang-the family cat.

Kesian Kembang. Tadi dia muntah. Mesti dia salah makan. Mula2 rasa nak marah sebab dia muntah dalam rumah.

Lepas muntah, dia duduk. Diam. Dia macam tau2 jek aku marah. Dia tunduk, takut nak pandang aku. Tak lama lepas tuh baru dia berani pandang aku, lepas tuh tunduk balik.

Aku tak jadi nak marah. Kesian.

Kembang sakit yer... Ok, akak tak marah. Akak tau rasa sakit salah makan macam mana. Perut tak selesa, muntah2, rasa tak larat jek. Walau semua isi perut dah keluar, tapi rasa nak muntah tetap ada.

Tapi kan Kembang, lain kali kalau rasa nak muntah lagi, boleh tak Kembang pergi muntah kat luar rumah. Sebab kesan muntah Kembang tuh nanti akakkkk jugak yang kena bersihkan. Boleh ek Kembang. Good cat.

-GottaBeSomebody-

I'm through with this big BS.
I'm through with you.
I'm through with myself.
I'm through with my life.
[Tell me what you want]

I want a great job.
I want to be rich.
I want a big house.
With a bedroom I can play hide & seek in.
And a king size tub big enough for ten plus me.
[So what you need]

I need a credit card that has no limit.
I need to be rich.
[So how you gonna get it]

I don't know.
No, I know.
I gotta be SOMEBODY.
[Then work it out]

Life is hard. Especially when you don't really know what you want. But it becomes harder when you know what you want, and there are just too many of it.

~Damn~

I try to be objective but it's difficult.

-SITUASI-ku

~DI TELAN MATI EMAK, DILUAH MATI BAPAK~

..........enough said

-BILATENSI-

Masa f3, asal tension jek, rasa nak alone jek, aku g kayuh beskal sorang2, g round2 kat LKIM. Agak2 hari cerah lagi, aku prodeed kayuh beskal g benteng, kat area belakang bangunan MPK, then duk termenung kat situ, kat tebing Sungai Kuantan. Tak pun, main2 atas jeti tayar kat situ (aku panggil jeti tayar coz tayar tuh susun2 sekali pastu ikat then letak papan atas tuh). Serius seram sebab jeti tuh tak stabil, goyang2, tapi seronok. Kadang2 classmate aku, kak yuk join skali. Tapi biasanya, aku sorang2 jek. Masa tuh, area belakang MPK tuh tak femes lg. Tak cantik macam sekarang. Tak dek orang pun lepak2 situ kecuali aku dan 1@2 orang pemancing. Rasa2 dah nak gelap, nak maghrib, baru aku balik rumah. Masa ni lah aku sedar aku ada kelebihan duk termenung lebih 1 jam.

Masa f4 & f5, aku duk hostel. Aku benci hostel. Benci sangat3. Meluat, menyampah, tak suka. Serius, aku benci duk hostel. Waktu nih, kalu aku rasa stress, nak sorang2, of which almost everytime, everyday [i told ya i hate hostel], aku g bilik kaunseling. Tak...bukan jupe cikgu kaunseling. Aku g situ waktu cikgu dah balik. I locked myself in there, alone. Duk situ diam2, kadang2 sampai malam. Orang cakap blok bilik kaunseling tuh berhantu. Tapi aku tak pedulik. Tak pernah plak aku kena kaco. Aku rasa hantu tuh pun kesian tengok aku, tuh die tak kaco.

Kalu cikgu still ada kat bilik kaunseling, aku g kat blok hujung2 yang tersorok. Biasanya, aku lepak kat blok f6. Situ sunyi, jauh dari blok2 lain, dak2 lain tak berapa nak g situ. Tak dek sape nak ganggu.

Tuh kisah dulu2, masa zaman skolah, zaman aku budak rebel. Sekarang, bila tensi, aku menulis. Aku akan tulis, tulis, tulis, dan tulis sampai aku pun tak tahu apa aku tulis.

Erm...aku tensi kot skarang.

*Terima kasih banyak2 pada cikgu Abdillah coz kasi kunci spare bilik kaunseling. Bilik tuh sangat tenang, setenang air muka cikgu =)

Tentang Aku

So, today, I decided to log in to my Hi5 account of which I have totally forgotten about; but of course being a social website just like facebook, they're gonna send you reminders to your email reminding you that you are their customer, that you have registered yourself at their respective website and that you have an 'obligation' to log in to your account and get yourself updated with all updates. Huh.

This is what I found, under About Me section....

A simple girl trying to suit herself in this big world. Her biggest dream is to travel around the world. She likes making new friends but she is kind of choosy in making friends cos she has the difficulty to trust people. She is currently trying so hard to make her own fate. The thing that she scared the most is that she might give up and just accept everything that happen to her.

Wow!!! That was written like 5 years ago. I was at that time a very very very simple girl. I'm still a simple person though. Reading that reminds me how tough life was for me.

It's true, I like making new friends but I was very3 selective in making new friends as I faced difficulties in trusting people. I always had this bad feeling that people might hurt me emotionally and betray me. I guess some of my past lives kind of 'haunted' me and made me the person I was before.

I can tell you, that didn't feel good at all. Not to be able to trust people because of the insecurity that you have within yourself makes you feel like you are all alone in this world; despite the fact that you are actually surrounded by lovely people. It hurts, it seriously hurts. There were times where I experienced a strong state of aversive tension.

How did I keep myself sane? I found serenity through reading and studying. Those two things managed to get me out of the so-not-stable-me state at the time. Or maybe I actually ran away from reality.

Then, came another tough part, tried to create my own fate. In fact, I'm still trying to make my own fate.... and destiny.

Fate and destiny, these two words come hand in hand with each other. People say they lie in god's hands. I'm totally opposed to that.

I believe we humans determine our own fate. Our own destiny. We decide our own way of life, not leaving it blindly under god's hands. However, if we are not able to control one of it or both of it, we can at least play a part to what's happening to us throughout our everyday existence.

By saying that, and by all means, a mere thought of me giving up and just accept everything in life is frightening, like spine-chilling. For that, deciding my own fate and destiny would be an endless battle for me.

I have always wanted to travel around the world...up until now, it's still my biggest dream. The world is huge, it's so big that there are plenty of things to see, to learn, to experience. I don't wanna miss that.

I am no longer the insecure girl that I used to be five years ago. I am now a confident young woman, nevertheless still trying to suit myself in this big world with the hope that I get to decide my own fate and destiny.

How glad I am to log in to my Hi5 account...

Entri Tart Telur

Entri nih khas buat Azma & Chen. Korang dua dop caya ek. Nah, nih buktinya ^__^

Nih still dalam oven.


Nih baru kluar oven


Nih, baker yer. Comey dop. Comey ken =)


Baker lagi.


Hok nih hangus skettt tepi yer. Tapi still sedap.

Haaa....caya dop? Hehe...Dah kabo...org memang terer bab baking2 nih.

Walaupun rupanya x seindah mana, tetapi rasanya...............walah!!!! Sedap wes. Sungguh. Dop tipu pom =)

Teringin? Terliur? Tengok je lah ek =D

Nak tau resipi? Klik sini.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Happy birthday to me..
Happy birthday to me..
Happy birthday to Nurul Syahida..
Happy birthday to me..

Yes, it was my birthday yesterday!!!

Eventhough there was no surprises as always..
No more people waking me up in the middle of the night..
No secret recipe..
No birthday dinner with my girlfrens..
No zombie scenes..
No baling2 tepung & telur..
I still enjoy my birthday.
Thanks everybody for the wishes.
Thanks mom for taking me out to dinner, eventhough I didn't get to pick the place.

I'm happy!!!!!!
So, in return, this is my present to everybody who wished me, prayed for me, my latest pics!! hehe...

This last pic was taken on my previous birthday. My frens really3 got me alllll dirty & stinky!! Plus, whatever they put in the water, had left my shirt & pants full with big ole blotch of bleach stain. Naaahhh...I wasn't mad though. OMG, I miss those moments. Terribly =((((((